We just finished potty training my daughter, and I have to tell you, it was rough. We tried on and off for about a year before it finally clicked for her. We tried every method, from letting her run around the house naked on bottom to offering bribes to get her to sit on the potty. She was stubborn and fought it till the end but consistency wore her down until she was finally ready. This is not a post about how to get a stubborn child potty trained. There are lots of blog posts and books dedicated to the subject of potty training. They can help you figure out the method. I'm just here to tell you that you are not alone, and that any emotions you experience during the extremely frustrating process of potty training are shared by all of us. Stage One: Blissful Ignorance You know you're in this stage when you tell yourself, "This is going to be easy. My child is so ready for this. I'm ready for this. We'll get this done in no time." Lies. It's all lies. Stage Two: Anger A stubborn child will probably fight you to the death (or at least to the limits of your patience) on potty training. Anger is normal. Muttering swear words under your breath is probably normal. "Get on the potty now!" you'll find yourself yelling. Your child might kick and scream as you drag him to the potty for the fiftieth time, and it'll take all your energy not to break a plate when he wets his pull-up/diaper/training underwear on the way. Stage Three: Bargaining After you realize that yelling at your child isn't going to make her learn to use the toilet any faster, you might move onto bargaining out of pure desperation. "If you sit on the potty, I'll give you candy. I'll give you all the candy. I'll give you every piece of candy in the whole world." This phase can be effective, but only if you're child is motivated. If not, it's going to be a whole lot of you giving into your child's demands and a whole lot of her manipulating you. Phase Four: Depression You've probably been trying for what feels like forever with very few results by the time you reach phase four. You're tired and ready to give up. You feel like a failure. "This is never going to happen," you tell yourself. "I'm going to be the only parent in the history of parents who can't get her child potty trained. She'll be in diapers forever." Phase Five: Acceptance
Much like the cycle of grief, the final stage in the cycle of potty training is acceptance. Acceptance that your child just isn't ready. Acceptance that it will happen one day, just not today. Acceptance that potty training is difficult and doesn't reflect on your abilities as a parent or the love you feel for your child. And who knows, maybe your child will just get it some day. Maybe it will just click. If not, you know that your child isn't going to be in diapers forever.
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About MetteI'm an emerging writer, a graduate of Solstice MFA, a fitness enthusiast and book lover, and most importantly, a slightly-frazzled mother of two with big goals and limited time. Archives
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